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Stephen David Miller's avatar

Love your openness as always, David. Despite not having an immunocompromised person at home, our precautions are fairly similar: I still wear an N95 at any sizable indoor event, I do outdoor dining or take-out 99% of the time (not 100%!), my wife and I test aggressively and have fostered that expectation among friends. A year ago this was all quite a bit more rigid (we didn't even have close friends indoors and unmasked) but, of course, risk calculations change.

One thing that's taken me a while to accept in my own life is that I don't need to be perfectly consistent, perfectly anything, for the attempt to still have merit. Probably informed by my evangelical upbringing, I have this tendency to moralize everything, to make it "all or nothing": I would never go indoors unmasked, I would never indoor dine, etc. Which is great, until the first time you fail at it! In my case, this meant work trips to areas of the country where outdoor dining simply wasn't a possibility, and executive conference meetings where peer pressure essentially demanded I unmask -- where the optics of being the "coastal elite" wore me down. Once I'd "broken the seal" on my perfectly-adhered principles, I had this strong impulse -- and, to be fair, a great deal of peer pressure -- to throw them out altogether. "You went to that crowded restaurant last night, why are you wearing a mask in the office this morning as if you were somehow better than everyone else?" "Your wife attends classes two days a week, she's obviously a bigger vector than you anyway!" etc. As I look at how attitudes towards COVID prevention have changed in my city over the last year, this is essentially the story I hear everywhere: a few cracks in the armor became an argument to stop shielding altogether.

But that's not how statistics works. If 2% of the time I'm in situations where I cannot be safe, but the remaining 98% I still manage it, that's still a ~50x reduction in risk! So I try to tell myself that every day, even as my standards shift and my rules become less logical (ex: I will eat indoors for a fancy tasting menu but not a burger place; I will still use the treadmill in my apartment gym if one person is in there but not if two people are), they're still directionally more likely to protect me.

P.S. I cannot sing the virtues of N95 masks highly enough. It profoundly irritates me when people point to statistics that "masks don't work" by looking at places and situations where it's obvious no one was trying -- surgical masks, chin diapers, etc. I probably travel twice a month for work on average; I've also seen a hell of a lot of movies in crowded theaters (including a full 10 days of Cannes screenings, surrounded by coughing people from across the globe). The only time I contracted COVID, it came from a work event where I abandoned my N95 halfway through (see again: peer pressure). Anecdotes are anecdotes, but I'm firmly convinced that these things help.

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Katie G's avatar

Thank you so so much for writing about this, especially now. I tested positive for COVID less than a week ago and while it has not been as bad as when I contracted it once before in 2022, it was still pretty awful. I started to become a lot more lax in the past couple of months just because COVID was being talked about less and less and I started to feel safer, but just because nobody is talking about it doesn't mean it disappeared completely. It always made me feel less alone to hear you guys on the Filmcast talk about continuing to wear masks and take precautions during/after the pandemic because it helped me feel like I wasn't the only one. Continue to do what you're doing because you're keeping you and your wife (and others you may not even know) safe. Love your work.

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